Forgiveness

Forgiveness is necessary in order to move forward. Clinging to things that occurred in the past that you can't do anything about does nothing but create sadness and a bitter taste. This isn't to say that there shouldn't be consequences for actions that hurt other people, animals, etc. I'm struck by those who's family members have been murdered that can say they forgive the perpetrator, for example. Personally I don't know how easy that would be for me.

Something else that isn't easy is forgiving yourself. Thought loops turn in the head of memories about regrettable acts. Maybe it's the way we treated someone or reacted to a situation. We think, "I wish I hadn't said that," or "why did I behave this way and for so long?"

It isn't easy to do. I have ruminated on my own personal regrets for a long time. Everyday the same thoughts come to mind about things I did 20 years ago. I carry guilt around like some sort of security blanket. My regrets can take control of my mood in the morning and they may follow me for the day, or definitely set the tone for how the day will go. It's difficult for me not to sit and roll over and over through my head the things I've done, different scenarios, and on and on and on. It's ridiculous, but I carry these things with me everyday like a piece of bulky luggage. I wish there was a switch where I could just turn off my brain, but there isn't.

We have to remind ourselves that things change. We grow and learn from unfortunate circumstances. Self love and care are important and in order to have that we have to say "it's okay." It's over with and all we can do is change for the better. Everyone does regrettable things, it's part of being human and growing up. I don't know about most people, but I want to get over this. It's time that I tell myself "it's okay," and move along with a better life for myself. We would all feel better if we just forgave ourselves.